the goose.

crossing paths

2010-09-30T13:32:00.002-04:00

this is where i work now.
whipstitch
bocado

come visit me anytime you want to.

im enjoying my time working with fabric and meeting new people. so many ladies come in and want things sewn for them. i need to make a new business card.

any of you lovely graphic designers out there want to whip one up for me?

this has been a very busy week for me. so many new adjustments in my life. good and bad. im going to be looking for daycare in the next week or so, so if anyone has any brilliant ideas for me, shoot 'em over!

im hopefully going to be able to teach some sewing classes at whipstitch soon. if anyone is interested in any, let me know. im also considering doing some little sewing class at my house sometime. drinks and baked goods included. would anyone be interested in this?

its time to get my life together and start doing the things that i want to do.

also, do yourself a favor and listen to these albums:

blonde redhead / penny sparkle
mumford & sons / sigh no more
band of horses / infinite arms
arcade fire / the suburbs
iron & wine / norfolk
jonsi / go

these are the things i am listening to nonstop.

zara!

2010-09-17T16:04:00.002-04:00

i have really been into cute kids fashions recently. i stumbled across a children's line at zara. who knew!? so much cute stuff. and to quote jenn at seed factory, 'the prices are pretty reas'.

to die for.

france and holland.

2010-09-16T09:15:00.006-04:00

here are many reasons why i wish i lived in france. or at least was able to visit sometime soon.

[my little attitude][little you] [bianca & family]

[florence reymond]

just make sure you translate everything into english on the site.

also, marry me

[viktor&rolf]

life, right now.

2010-09-14T15:39:00.005-04:00

i update this blog so rarely that every time i do, i have to say 'this is what is going on in my life now'.

so, this is what is going on in my life right now

parker is talking a lot. saying the most insane things.

last week there were a bunch of kids riding bikes down the street being really loud and squawking. so i said, 'parker, do you hear all those chickens out there?!' now, days later, she keeps saying 'chi-chi allah'. which, if you didnt know, is 'chickens outside!'

i had an interview today. i have another interview on friday.

amy and i are on a telephone family plan. we got a discount for being cute white girls in college park.

i miss a lot of my friends. so many are far away. so many are very busy. get in my life, you guys!

my birthday is soon. maybe ill try and do something fun and clever. please come!

i found some old photos.

this was after sigur ros in 2005. i promise we all had a fun time.

new words.

2010-08-25T19:59:00.002-04:00

this is parker in kansas city, at 21 months old.

new list of her words:

[mainly food]

cheese

pizza

watermelon

cereal

pickle

chicken

chip

cracker

cashew

and to end it all.

t.t. wawa - toilet water. or pee.

hairspray and charcoal.

2010-08-19T11:38:00.005-04:00

my life is in two extremes right now. some things so great. some things so bad. on the financial side, so bad. but on the people side so, so good!

no one ever told me how terrible the terrible twos are. sometimes i want to ship parker off to somewhere far away. but i always miss her right when she leaves to go anywhere. i just want my not whiney, not bossy, not bratty girl back.

some highlights:

parker has her fingernails and toenails painted.

she says:

tee tee wawa - the toilet

sorry mama

mama car

kaka carseat

jewdada - blueberries

all d e-e - all done amy

apa - ice cream

addddddy - abby from sesame street

manie, nanie, mama - all names for me

ding doooong - in a very southern accent

googa- grandma/yoga

guyku - cycle/jessica

im waiting to hear back on some jobs. the school im teaching at starts next week.

i have great friends. all the old ones and all the new ones.

2010-07-04T11:30:00.001-04:00

, originally uploaded by kylehale.

kelly!

finally!

2010-06-16T21:18:00.009-04:00

its time. ive opened my etsy store! it took me long enough to finally do it. its a start for now. im a little shaky about everything so im still trying to maneuver my way around etsy. here are a few items i added today.

check it out!

ooh that its all for the best.

2010-06-11T22:33:00.003-04:00

im trying to be positive.

currently, these are the things going on in my life:

•im about to finish the girl with the dragon tattoo. i highly recommend it.

•i worked at the aa flea market today. i have so much respect for people who work outside in the summertime.

•im dog sitting for christy. porkchop is in bed with parker and i now.

•i still realllly need a job.

•i got ten first edition, well, book club first edition, dr. seuss books from the thrift store for $5.

•the banana stand is coming along. ill post pictures soon.

•my dad is coming back into town this weekend.

•patrick is at world cup! i wish i was there with him.

•im missing my roommates while they dog sit in midtown.

•my southern girl started chanting sweet tea! sweet tea! sweet tea! tonight when i got back from chick fil a. she loves sweet tea.

•ive been listening to jonsi and its soooo good.

other than that, ive been spending a lot of time alone. doing a lot of thinking. trying to figure out my life. i never realized how difficult life is when you dont have a job. its hard to keep up your self worth when you are so dependent on other people.

running.

2010-06-03T22:36:00.000-04:00

taken by my sister sarah cook.

summmmmertimmeeeee

2010-05-30T11:12:00.001-04:00

memorial day!

2010-05-27T11:00:00.001-04:00

peanut butter jelly time.

2010-05-22T17:09:00.004-04:00

i bet you didnt know i was a floral designer did you?

i whipped this up because amy forgot to get a boutonniere for her prom date.

parker and i visited matilda and lesley for the afternoon. here is matilda showing off her teeth.

other than that i still dont have a job. i have been working on things to sell. coming soon: the banana stand

no ones gonna love you more than i do.

2010-05-14T10:53:00.008-04:00

a lot of nothing has been going on recently. i have some photos to show off now.

first. i hope everyones mothers day was fun and spent with mothers. as for me, i was given gifts!

some cupcake things from parker via dave. some perfume from catherine, daves mom. some sunglasses from shane.

julie was cleaning out her aunts old house and she got me a box full of old thread and a very old dressform. so cool.

two weeks ago was kellys 21st birthday and christys bridal shower. nicole and i made her a homemade paper wreath and a cute card. we are so happy for her!

i made kelly a felt birthday hat in which she graciously wore at trader vics!

parker enjoyed some chocolate ice cream. afterwards she looks like a homeless man.

i went thrift store shopping yesterday and found two really great old fisher price toys. the horse is great. parker can pull it, push it, or ride on it. the dollhouse is really cool but only came with one bed and one chair. i would love to find the old furniture but it might get expensive.

so thats all. im still looking for a job. i have been a sewing tech at scad for the past few weeks but i need a full time job. i am going to start crafting. i must. maybe i will finally have the motivation to open an etsy shop. i need to think of a name. any suggestions?

my life recently.

2010-04-13T16:52:00.016-04:00

cookies?

2010-03-28T13:14:00.005-04:00

i had lunch with an old friend from high school on friday. it was so fun to catch up and see her. we went to cafe di sol and then looked around highland row antiques. i found a bag of homemade vintage chicks. so cute.

after about two months of working on my headboard, it is finally done. except i am waiting on reed to build me something to raise it up about five inches and secure it to my bed. so here it is, but imagine it a little taller.

my to-do list is getting crossed out and that is something i really enjoy. it makes me feel organized and accomplished. i have lists all over the place, but this one is sort of a master to-do list.

i finally recived my prints from our labor of love. this is one i ordered extra, just a small 4x6.

parker is full on feeding herself now. its a little messy, but so much easier for me. here she is.
yogurt.

yellow luggage!

2010-03-23T11:16:00.003-04:00

after all the hype ive seen about these, i decided i had to have one.

after tax, the overnighter was only $102 because its on sale. im so excited to travel and have such a fantastic piece of luggage.

in other news, my favorite couple, brittany and jay, are on vacation for a week. im not sure i know what to do with myself with them gone for so long. they had a wonderful housewarming party on sunday.
[lesley graham]

ed is maybe going home from the hospital to rest up before his next surgery. keep him in your thoughts.

happy st. patricks day!

2010-03-18T18:20:00.006-04:00

so im sitting here in the waiting room at grady hospital. its disgusting. my stepdad ed got in a motorcycle accident and we are waiting for the results. his leg is broken in a few places and his bone is sticking out. he has to have surgery tonight. eeeeek.

in other news, saint patricks day was fun.

we made corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, carrots, and turnips.
then we played pop culture trivial pursuit.

love parker and lindsey.

new stuff.

2010-03-08T01:16:00.006-05:00

i bought a new couch for $25!

we rearranged everything for it. and i bought another shelf. so happy.

thanks brittany and jay for teaching parker to drink out of a straw. it sure makes life easier. and thanks kirk for letting me borrow your truck so i could get my new couch. and a special no thank you to the homemade cookie dough in my fridge. taunting me all the way from the kitchen.

i think i might want to start making these stupid shirts and selling them. easy enough right. i just need to buy a serger.

my girl.

2010-03-02T23:52:00.000-05:00

photo by sarah cook.

life. repeated.

2010-03-02T11:33:00.003-05:00

[get it here]

i want these things. i want to lose weight and dress cuter.

its snowing again. im in bed and its noon. it feels great. i love naps.
i have two days off.
i have a new starter in my car $415 later.
both of my best friends just moved. leigh is in west hollywood now and jessica finally has a house!
i love where i live. i love my friends and family.

jessicas wedding.

2010-02-24T01:38:00.001-05:00

wait, when did i look like this? skinny. tan. great hair. man, having a baby really takes a toll on you.

new life.

2010-02-20T22:08:00.008-05:00

parker wearing reeds hoodie.

parker in the dryer!
here is our new house. 1656 melrose drive.
my bedroom.
my new tv!

the living room.

cute.

2010-02-18T09:53:00.002-05:00

words parker has been saying recently:
hi
eye
bye
bling
dog
blacks beans
glue gun
taxi
parker
dad
mom

saturday night.

2010-02-07T00:31:00.002-05:00

it feel so good to be back in atlanta. recently i have been spending my time with the following:

lesley graham

brittany and jay mehta

jessica dorman

nicole wrathell

reed elliott

julie thompson

...and many others.

im the happiest that i have reconnected with brittany. being best friends growing up and then not talking for nine years means nothing! it feels so comfortable to be with her. it helps that she has the most amazing husband and house as well.

this past week parker and i both got a stomach bug. i stayed at brit and jays house and they took care of us.

i have been doing a lot of thrift store shopping. i found an antique wooden headboard for $5. a steal!

as soon as i get that tax return i will have everything i need. and then i will finally take pictures of my house.

moving on has been much easier than i had anticipated.

decor.

2010-01-27T08:06:00.001-05:00

simple & pure beautiful (to me), originally uploaded by citypix.

i want to do this to my room

01.26.10

2010-01-26T14:15:00.005-05:00

anitico pizza. good lord. go there, please. it was delicious.

lesley, matilda, parker and i had the margherita d.o.p. the only downfall is that there are no highchairs. the girls had to sit on our laps and get pizza sauce dripped all over them. matilda got some in her shoes, while parker got some in her hair!

im getting settled in with the help of some wonderful friends. jessica and i have had nice family dinners two nights in a row.
reed and nicole get back today so ill be happy to have them here.
ro moves in next week. im so excited!

as soon as i get my tax return, who wants to go funiture shopping with me. i need things.

i had the master cleanse the other night.

melrose drive.

2010-01-22T00:29:00.003-05:00

we finally got internet over here. right now we dont have a router so i am plugged in. its been so long since i have had to sit in one place with my laptop.

all is well here in the swats. the house is fantastic. i am still in need of a lot of furniture. shelving mostly. i dont know what i am going to do with all of my craft stuff.

my mom came to visit yesterday and brought lots of goodies. then she took me to ikea and bought me a red shelf for my books. i bought a really cute mirror from the greenhouse only to have it fall over and break the next day. we thought we swept everything up but alas, parker cut her foot on some stray glass.

we have a fenced in backyard for barbara and bling. we have a closed in front porch for parker. im so happy with the house and all the people in it. it feels so good to be connected again.

tonight i went to lesleys and had a wonderful home cooked meal by sam. lesley and i worked on some patterns for a cape and a dress for celebrity children. it felt so good to be creative again. i have really fallen off when it comes to design.

i went to the interview with carters but no internship program is set up. hopefully april/may though. i interview with top flr tomorrow. wish me luck. i only have $34 to my name right now.

nicole and i went to the grocery store today and she is teaching me to eat healthy and cheap. lots of produce. light on the carbs. no sweets. no butter. drink water!

i wish i had my kitchenaid mixer and my one cup coffee maker. its been a hard adjustment to not have coffee every morning.

a very special thank you to my girl ashlee for driving to atlanta with me, dealing with georgia power, driving my uhaul, and eating at places she didnt want to. i love you girl.

this is going to be a hard adjustment but i know i will make it. each day things will get better and easier. and as my mom says, you never know what is right around the corner. i just wish i could stop hearing those four words over and over in my head.

i miss my dad and all my lovies in new jersey.

tracy, parker missssssssses you!

christmas and the new year!

2009-12-30T09:24:00.006-05:00

christmas is over. here are some snapshots of our christmas this year.

christmas morning!cookies i made. specifically elephants for jessica!
christmas tart from carlo's bakery, aka the cake boss.
miss potato head i made for pk.
its almost new years. i cant believe a whole year has gone by. parker is now almost 14 months old. i have been living in new jersey for 11 months. i have been single for 11 months. i have been hurt, happy, sad, excited, disappointed, surprised, and overjoyed this year. i can only hope that next year is better than this one.

my new years resolutions thus far:

1. have parker sleep in a crib in her own room.
2. secure a good paying job in my industry.
3. start buying house things so i have furniture and stuff to call a home.
4. eat healthier.
5. lose weight.
6. go to the movies more often.
7. be craftier and sew more often.
8. be in a mature stable relationship with a man.
9. be the best mother daughter sister friend i can be.

wah wah.

2009-12-20T23:24:00.002-05:00

you know what sucks? coming across pictures from five months ago that make you realize someone was lying to you. i guess thats one good thing about facebook. dont go somewhere people are taking pictures and forget to mention that someone else might be there with you. woops.

i guess some people think its okay to lie. or break promises. and then drag you in the mud.

in better news, i had a nice day with my dad. all of my shopping is done. we ate fajitas at chilis and had chocolate desserts. i watched a fish called wanda for the first time. and it was so funny.

patrick and amy are on their way. i cant wait for them to be here.

this time next year i hope to be in my own house, starting new traditions and continuing on the old ones. i also hope to have back all of my christmas decorations that someone doesnt want to give back.

favorite toys.

2009-12-17T17:06:00.002-05:00

this toy is a lifesaver.

for anyone who has a child that likes to take your telephone or remote, or anything electronic and put it to their face and walk around, this is the toy for you. its kind of annoying but it says things in french and spanish. its makes ringing sounds and sings. it really keeps parker entertained. its cheap too.

i want to buy all of these.
[source]
[source]
[source]

but most likely ill end up with this because it is only $20.
[source]

coming together.

2009-12-14T23:58:00.013-05:00

i have been crafting all day.

i went shopping to pick up supplies to make the shed at work into a gingerbread house.
mary and i are working on it tomorrow.

i wrapped all of the christmas presents that i have so far.

i have been baking a lot. this weekend i made red velvet whoopie pies with peppermint cream cheese filling, and some with vanilla bean cream cheese filling.
tonight i am making the old stand by, tollhouse cookies with m&ms. nothing fancy.
i decided i want parker to have the complete nancy drew series. i got her first installment this weekend.
i made some ornaments today, nothing crazy. i bough glass balls and filled them with stuff. the first one is just scraps of red fabric with some glitter.
this one i like the best. its just scraps of white fabric.
the last one i made didnt turn out as good as i wanted it to, but i only spent about five minutes making it. i cut up a lot of scraps of paper and wrote 2009, parkers 2nd christmas etc.
parker has been getting into the tree a lot recently. i want to put the presents under the tree, but if i do, i am going to have to put the coffee table in front of the tree so she doesnt pull all of the bows off of the presents again.

i worked for hours tonight on other presents for people that i cannot show at the moment. after christmastime i will show everyone what i have been working on!

i am very happy to say that i am officially moving back to atlanta january 15th. i found the perfect house with ro. i am so excited. its so cute. im signing the lease this week and putting down the deposit.
now all that needs to happen is for me to get the internship and to meet a nice man!

christmas crafts.

2009-12-12T09:41:00.009-05:00

here is the crime scene from monday.

i made stocking for everyone. parker already had a really cute one from last year.

here is the beauty queen.

wintertime girl.

blooooood.

2009-12-07T23:23:00.002-05:00

i had the most fun filled christmas time weekend.
friday night - love actually and cookie baking with katy ashlee and elysa
saturday - i decorated my tree and watched the holiday with elysa
sunday - decorated ninas tree and made cookies with her roommate while listening to the vince guaraldi trio.

today i had planned on making ornaments and new stocking for amy, pat, my dad and i. i was all set up to finish the stockings when on my way down the stairs i stepped on the hammer. the side where you pull out nails. sliced my foot open. blood was dripping eveywhere and i was home alone with parker. i had to make it to my phone, wrap my foot up with a paper towel, get parker in her car seat, and drive myself to the hospital.

but now im home eating haagen dazs coffee ice cream out of the container with threee stitches in my foot and a sore arm from a tetanus shot.

its beginning to look a lot like christmas!

2009-12-05T14:58:00.011-05:00

today is decoration day. im off of work and made a wreath.

then my dad and i decorated the tree.
my neighbor has a really great wreath. i hope that she made it.
last night i went to elysas with katy and ashlee and we baked cookies.
parker helped.
parkers favorite girl.
its snowing really hard today. sticking. see flickr for video!

i did some laundry today and realized i do have quite an affinity for stripes.

i wish.

2009-12-01T22:12:00.002-05:00

so pretty.

thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T20:41:00.004-05:00

this year im thankful for a lot.

my family. my dad especially, for letting me live with him and taking care of parker and i.
searching for houses with ro.
job prospects.
my darling parker, the cutest of them all!
egg nog and that caramel brulee latte from starbucks.
pacifiers.

here is a photo from tonight. i had my friend oscar from work over for dinner. his family is all in peru so he wasnt doing anything. plus he is peruvian so he doesnt care at all about thanksgiving anyway.

i made lemon meringue pie, bread pudding with a vanilla sauce, mashed potatoes, and cream of cauliflower soup.
my dad made turkey, stuffing, gravy, carrots and turnips, and green beans.
im full and tired.

i miss a lot of people.

2009-11-17T11:37:00.003-05:00

tuesday is my day off. i always feel very productive on these days.
so far i have:
researched, filled out, and printed legitimation forms
updated parkers baby book
printed out thank you cards
balanced my checkbook
wished people happy birthday

left to do:
go to therapy
take parker to her one year check up
sew up my jeans nice and tight
take a walk
research thanksgiving recipes
continue looking for jobs and apartments in atlanta
convince someone to be my roommate

busy day. i like it.
i wish i had bought this for parkers birthday. i think its cute.

parker frances koher is one!

2009-11-13T11:49:00.004-05:00

parker is now a toddler, as they say. the party was a smashing success.

im going to give a little summary for those who care, although i think the four people that read this were at the party.

all flowers and arrangements done by catherine walther, daves mom. she has a floral design company called arrangements if anyone is in need of anything.
cupcakes made by janine powell! i believe they are snickerdoodle by the wonderful martha stewart.
beautiful cake made by nicole. [her first made-from-scratch cake!]
i made the banner with a lot of different purple and yellow fabrics.
sugar cookies in envelopes.
hats and bubbles made by me. i wish i had more photos of the party hats because there were so many. i had two sizes, one for kids and one for adults.
rosettes in the windows. it doesnt look like a lot, but it was hours of folding, stapling, taping, and hanging to get them done.
petit fours from alon's bakery. candy sticks from cracker barrell, in which my darling julie drove to the ends of the earth to get.
the most fantastic painting done by my friend christy chaffin. what a talent!
i made cake pops. there were lavender m&ms, grape gumballs, lemonheads, mike&ikes, and butterscotch candies. i also made a million pinwheels. there are two pictured here.
we had sparking pineapple juice, sparking lemonade and champagne.
homemade chocolate lolipops made by me!

i got some inspiration from donna hay's annual kids issue. i made mini sandwiches, chicken salad and avacado, and ham and cheese. i also made deviled eggs. i got some kitchen help from jay.

i have many special thanks to dole out.
brittany and jay mehta for hosting a pre birthday decoration session complete with wine and homemade pizza.
lesley graham, nina roussarie, and jessica dorman for helping with decorations!
kyle hale for the use of his camera etc and setting up the photo booth.
nicole wrathell for making the most beautiful purple three tiered cake.
janine powell for making cupcakes.
my mom for making cookies.
kirk whitfield for the use of her apothecary jars.
catherine walther for all of the arrangements and use of all her glassware.
my biggest thanks to my bestie jessica. she lent her workspace, her time, energy, and creativity and really helped me with everything. i love you!

i couldnt have done any of it without all of you!

brittany and matilda.
birthday girl and i.
tutu made by meeeeee.
[all photos taken by lesley graham, nathan perry, and sarah cook]

life.

2009-11-13T09:12:00.000-05:00

i love this.

birthday girl.

2009-11-06T08:45:00.001-05:00

9:37am thursday november 6, 2008
happy birthday parker!
[yesterday she found a hersheys kiss and put the whole thing in her mouth]

illustration.

2009-11-02T22:20:00.002-05:00

i love this illustration, its by danny roberts. beautiful.

i go to atlanta in four days. its also parkers birthday is four days.

the gamber.

2009-10-27T20:21:00.002-04:00

Slow down, we've got time left to be lazy
All the kids have bloomed from babies into flowers in our eyes.
We've got 50 good years left to spend out in the garden
I don't care to beg your pardon,
We should live until we die.

We were barely 18 when we'd crossed collective hearts.
It was cold, but it got warm when you'd barely crossed my eye.
And then you turned, put out your hand,
And you asked me to dance.
I knew nothing of romance, but it was love at second sight.

I swear when I grow up, I won't just buy you a rose.
I will buy the flower shop, and you will never be lonely.
Even if the sun stops waking up over the fields
I will not leave, I will not leave 'till it's our time.
So just take my hand, you know that I will never leave your side.

It was the winter of '86, and all the fields had frozen over.
So we moved to Arizona to save our only son
And now he's turning to a man, although he thinks just like his mother,
He believes we're all just lovers he sees hope in everyone.

And even though she moved away,
We always get calls from our daughter.
She has eyes just like her father's
They are blue when skies are grey
And just like him, she never stops,
Never takes the day for granted,
Works for everything that's handed to her,
Never once complains.

You think that I nearly lost you
When the doctors tried to take you away.
But like the night you took my hand beside the fire
30 years ago to this day
You swore you'd be here 'til we decide that it's our time
Well it's not time, you've never quit in all your life.
So just take my hand, you know that I'll never leave your side.
You're the love of my life, you know that I'll never leave your side.

You come home from work and you kiss me on the eye
You curse the dogs, you say that I should never feed them what is ours.
So we move out to the garden and look at everything we've grown.
And now the kids are coming home
I'll set the table

You can make the fire.

-fun.

cake cake cake.

2009-10-21T00:34:00.005-04:00

i bought this cute book for parker today. it is by the husband and wife that design ugly dolls. it was on sale for $2.99.

i discovered this today as well. the cutest things ever.

oh my god, dont you wanna diiiiiie they are so great?

lately.

2009-10-19T23:53:00.003-04:00

dancing baby,

2009-10-16T16:38:00.004-04:00

i bought the fabric to make parker a tutu.

have i mentioned how cold it is here? in the 30s.
i was on the phone and when i looked up, this is what i saw. i tried to take a photo but my camera was set to video, so this is what i got, i really laughed for a long time.

parker got her flu shot today. not the swine flu one, just the regular one. she has been in a terrible mood since. it just took me two hours to get her to fall asleep.

nowali.

2009-10-15T22:28:00.002-04:00

just bought these for parker! expect to see them at her party! bought them at milkshop.
ive got a lot going on. but i feel alright about it.
everything for parkers party has been shipped off to jessica. all that is left is some sewing. im making a tutu for her!
between yesterday and today i ate an entire bag of peanut butter with chocolate chip cookies. ugh. being stressed sucks.

picture update.

2009-10-10T00:28:00.005-04:00

i saw sunny day real estate!

parker got cute pajamas!

my peanut!

here is the craft table for parkers party.

parker looking like her dad with a goatee.
after this bath, parker got a rash all over her body. poor thing with her sensitive skin! she got sick this past week with an infection. i took her to her russian doctor and she gave her some antibiotics. now its just runny nose.

im getting anxious for her party. things are coming together. i just hope there is peace when i am there. im so nervous.

this is insane.

2009-10-05T10:12:00.003-04:00

i got a speeding ticket a week ago. its $224. i dont know if i should just pay it or get a lawyer and go to court to try and have the points dropped.

parker is sick. i thought she was teething but she is actually sick.

im so disappointed in myself right now. i place too much care on one thing and i make myself crazy. i cant wait to talk this out with a professional tomorrow.

parkers party plans are coming along well. tracy and i made hats galore the other night. im anxious for everyone to see them.

parker keeps calling people with my phone. if you get a really long voice message of a certain someone shrieking, you now know why. she called dave three times yesterday. and leigh.

im making myself crazy.

disco satin bubble dress. oh michael kors.

2009-10-01T23:33:00.005-04:00

its been a really rough few weeks.

im looking forward to tomorrow. i have the entire day off and i plan on working on parkers birthday stuff. i finished the invitations and im ready to print. i received everything in the mail that i ordered for decorations!

ive been going through all of my bookmarks and i found this cute cute outfit. im not one for onsies but i have been looking for cute pajamas for parker and i think i found a good one.

ahhh. i just love it. its from black wagon.

ive been talking to old friends and its really nice to reconnect. ive also been talking to nina and we are living parallel lives. except im not being invited on romantic getaways!

im anticipating a lot right now.

oh my god everything on project runway tonight was so terrible. ugh. i hate everything.

well well well

2009-09-27T13:32:00.002-04:00

ive got some news.

my new goal is that by february 2010 i will be living in atlanta again.
i dont know what this is going to look like.
i dont know where i will live.
i dont know where i will work.
i really dont know anything.
but i am on my way to making it happen.

i have a lot of goals lined up for myself. one of them being starting a little etsy/online whatever company. i want to sell baby clothes and party favor/decoration kits. im hoping that some of you that read this will want to advertise on your blog whenever i am set up and running.

also, dave has two apartments available if anyone knows of someone looking for a place to live. both available now. one is a basement apartment for $500 right next to my brother! the other is $650 and is the carriage house behind daves. if anyone knows jessica dorman, it is her dream to live in this apartment if she could only afford it and leave her old apartment. spread the word kiddies!

im seeing sunny day real estate tonight. everyone be jealous!

ohhhh girl. id be in trouble if you left me now.

2009-09-24T19:03:00.015-04:00

dear bloggers.

i have so much to share with you. my birthday was this week. tuesday the 22nd to be exact. on saturday i went to work and julie made me this fantastic cake. half red velvet, half chocolate, with buttercream icing.
then jessica and my dad showed up at my work. jessica really helped me figure out some goals for my life, ie. housing, jobs, money, emotional stability etc. sunday afternoon we headed over to the west village and ate at red bamboo. tony came in from philly and we hung out at the park etc.

when it was time to drive back to nj, we had a little trouble fitting tonys bike in my trunk. luckily i carry packing tape in my trunk.
we had to use it to tape down the trunk so it wouldnt fly open on the highway.

my dad got me the one cup coffe maker.
a gift for me but really for him!
on monday night my dad took jessica and i to fire&oak. we had three dozen oysters and a bottle of stags leap cabernet. after dinner went to varka and had desserts and they sang happy birthday to me with the bartender. jessica gave me these two wonderful gifts.
beautiful!

on my actual birthday jessica and i cooked risotto, cauliflower puree, and pork tenderloin. tracy came over and we decided to make a trifle with brownies, cookies, heath bar, chocolate pudding, vanilla pudding, and whipped cream. it should have looked something like this:
but in reality it looked like this:

haha.

other than that, jessica caught some good photos of parker.

i have some goals set for myself and some of them include:
losing weight
joining the ymca
moving out of my dads by february
starting my own company, even if it is just etsy
being emotionally stable
be the best mother i can possibly be

good luck to me.

gotcha matcha.

2009-09-17T09:33:00.006-04:00

after calling four whole foods, trader joes, and the guys at my work i headed to nanuet to go to an asian store. turns out it was a filipino store. then i went to the international market. all mexican food. then i went to spring valley and asked around at the vietnamese restaurant i like. they sent me to tappan to an asain store and finally, finally i found it. matcha green tea powder! here it is in all its $17.99 glory.

i made matcha green tea cupcakes. recipe from bake & destroy via leigh poindexter. oh, and the icing is whipped cream cheese icing, half vanilla, half matcha.

taaa-daaaa. delicious really.

fur coat.

2009-09-14T23:54:00.002-04:00

getting ready for the snow.

carrrot cake!carrot cake!

2009-09-11T09:21:00.003-04:00

i made carrot cake for the first time this week. i have to say, i think it turned out perfect. here is the recipe for those who are curious. but i must warn you, there are a lot of ingredients!

* 5 cups grated carrots
* 1 cup brown sugar
* 1 cup raisins
* 4 eggs
* 1 1/2 cups white sugar
* 1 cup vegetable oil
* 4 teaspoons vanilla extract
* 1 cup crushed pineapple, drained
* 3 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
* 1/4 teaspoons nutmeg
* 1/4 teaspoons allspice
* 1/4 teaspoons ginger
* 1/4 teaspoons cloves
* 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
* zest 1 lemon
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 8 teaspoons ground cinnamon
* 1 cup shredded coconut

1. Soak the raisins overnight in pineapple juice.
2. In a medium bowl, combine [DRAINED] grated carrots and brown sugar. Set aside for 60 minutes, then stir in raisins.
3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two 10 inch cake pans.
4. In a large bowl, beat eggs until light. Gradually beat in the white sugar, oil and vanilla. Stir in the pineapple. Combine the flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon, stir into the wet mixture until absorbed. Finally stir in the carrot mixture and the walnuts. Pour evenly into the prepared pans.
5. Bake for 45 to 50 minutes in the preheated oven, until cake tests done with a toothpick. Cool for 10 minutes before you remove from pans.

cream cheese frosting!

1/4 lb butter
8 oz cream cheese
2 tsp vanilla
1 lb sifted confectioners sugar

whip the ROOM TEMPERATURE butter and cream cheese until fluffy. add vanilla. then add sugar slowly.

its beginning to look a lot like......fall.

2009-09-10T22:42:00.004-04:00

its starting to really feel like fall here. im able to dress parker in all of her adorable winter clothes. mainly pea coats, leg warmers, and corduroy skirts.

it looks as though i will be coming into some money this weekend thanks to marijana and her letting me help her sell some stuff.
ive decided to pay off my credit card and buy a new computer. im thinking 13.3" macbook pro. for the sole reason that it has an illuminated keyboard.
i will also have some money to save and some money to spend on parkers birthday party. which by the way is shaping up to be very cute. if you atlanta bloggers out there are interested in helping, i am doling out crafting and baking projects. handmade pinwheels anyone?
ive got some great ideas and i cannot wait for the little peanut to turn 1. i cant believe it really.

on a sad note i am looking down the line to a lot of rotating holidays and summers and im sad already. the cold weather is reminding me of how much i love fall and winter. and thanksgiving and christmas. i love traditions. i am wanting to carry on the ones i had as a child. holiday baking. lighting and decorating the christmas tree while listening to christmas music. christmas m&ms in a bowl. watching rudolph and all the other favorite holiday movies. its always hard growing up when all of the things you loved about christmas are gone because your an adult now and you dont live at home with your parents. and your siblings are spread out across the country. its all so sad. last year i had decided since i had parker i was going to start all of the traditions with her. but now everything has changed. i dont even know where i am going to have christmas. i wont have that mom dad and baby christmas that i want so badly. and i dread the days of having to have christmas without her.

ive just had a reality check this week. i guess it was about time. i couldnt keep living life thinking things were going to stay stagnant. some day soon ill have everything figured out. and i wont feel like a lost child with a child.

toothie.

2009-09-05T09:19:00.003-04:00

so for everyone that was was asking for photos of the outfit i made, i sent it over to my friend lesley for her daughter matilda.

im so very happy that it fits her. doesnt she look a little like parker. i think so.

im sick. but im getting better. parker has been chewing. she eats chicken, french toast, soup, eggs, pasta, mushrooms, and cheerios!

soon she will have a top tooth and soon she wont have boogers running down her face.

baby clothes!

2009-08-31T00:23:00.005-04:00

this is what my evening looked like. parker took a long time to go to bed and she kept waking up crying. i think she is getting sick. she has a runny nose. but i guess it makes sense because there were some serious weather changes today. its 61 degrees right now!

goodnight.

pregnant me.

2009-08-30T15:19:00.005-04:00

Lindsey Knott Babe-Belly, originally uploaded by ashzelly.

so i stumbled across these photos. i had been looking for them. my friend ashley took them when i was about 8 months pregnant with parker. its funny how i have already forgotten how huge i was. these are some of the only photos of me when i was pregnant. dave has a couple and maybe my mom if she took them at the baby shower. i was huge.

today i decided to make some baby clothes. i went to the store and bought some muslin so i can just rub off some existing stuff p has. i dont feel like drafting patterns from scratch, im just not up to it. so i got some silly cotton fabric that i thought was going to be cheap, but by the time i got out of there i had spent $57, which i guess in comparison to the days of gail k, is pretty cheap. i used to spend at least $100 a week. definitely more though. ill post some photos when i am done sewing.

yesterday i went to williamsburg and hung out with lexi and mollie. mollie took us all out to brunch at egg. it was great.

i found a new babysitter and she is just fantastic.

tomorrow i am helping marijana sell old salon equiptment, and hopefully i will make some money.

dr. emmett "doc" brown

2009-08-18T22:48:00.004-04:00

parker just woke up and and her hair looks like christopher lloyd in back to the future. ha!

in other news i made two quiches tonight with farm fresh eggs. they were spinach, shallot, onion, and mushroom with parmesan, greyere, cheddar, and cream cheese. delicious!

im also in the middle of making oreo cupcakes with whipped buttercream icing.

parker went to the doctors today and she is still under weight. she only weighs 17lbs 10oz. i have to go back next month again. the doctor said, in her strong russian accent, 'you see, you have a very hyperactive child'.

im like, realllllllllly? i hadnt noticed!

some say love

2009-08-18T00:30:00.004-04:00

this has been a difficult week. or last week rather. i lost one of my babysitters. im not sure what happened. but when i showed up at her house to drop off parker so i could go to work, she wasnt there. when she finally text messaged me, her response was that she had left for the jersey shore this morning. thats all. thats all she said. so now i am scrambling to figure out who is going to watch parker on wednesdays and thursdays now. luckily i have some very nice girls at my work who will watch her this week for me.

i had a terrrrrrrrible trip to the beach on sunday. like amateurs, my dad and i went to point pleasant and didnt leave the house until 12. it took three hours to get there. we never found parking. i got in the water for 5 minutes and then had to lug all my stuff back to findmy dad who was still in the car. we then turned around and drove 2 hours home. ugh. im never going back and i dont think he is either.

now for the good stuff. kyong visited on thursday and she brought me goodies from the farm. homemade dilly beans, pesto, and blackberry jam. farm fresh eggs and honey. a bundle of coriander that i am currently drying and a brown bag full of fresh garlic.

we drank grey goose and cranberry and sat on the porch and talked. friday we took a very long route into the city to see animal collective. while we were walking to the car, her to go rumdrink spilled in my purse soaked everything. i had to take off one of my tank tops to clean everything up. when i got back into my car that night it reeked of rum.

parker was babysat by the wonderful mollie, lexi, and caroline of williamsurg. they have become fast friends and i am so grateful for them.

nina is in town and i have plans to see her on thursday. i cannot wait!

-------------------------------------------------------

Is it much that I feel I need
A solid soul and the blood I bleed
With a little girl, and by my spouse
I only want a proper house

I don't care for fancy things
Or to take part in a precious race
And children cry for the one who has
A real big heart and a father's grace

I don't mean to seem like I care about material things like a social status
I just want four walls and adobe slabs for my girls

-animal collective

andy'll try it!

2009-08-12T14:55:00.004-04:00

i ended up today with the day off. it would be more fun if i had something to do. so far it has been a lazy day of catching up on shows, cleaning, straightening my hair, and hanging out with the nut.
on conan last night they had a segment called 'andy will try it' where andy trys out things people advertise on tv. this time it was an inversion table, which was interesting because dave just bought one for his back. andy gave it a thumbs up.

both of parkers bottom teeth are poking through. she really hasnt been cranky either. no crying, no fever. lucky me. and her i suppose.

i have a lot to look forward to this weekend.
kyong is coming to visit on thursday night. we are going to see animal collective on friday night. nina also comes into town on friday. i hope i can go to her party on friday night but it depends on if i have a babysitter in the city/brooklyn or not.

her party is the guilty pleasure party. i will have to think about something that is a guilty pleasure for me. and how to dress up for it.

my dad mentioned to me that in the fall when business picks up, i might be able to get a job at his work. that might be the only way i could get on track financially and start saving money. parker would have to go into daycare. at the moment i am just spinning my wheels as they say. i guess its something to think about and look forward to. i wouldnt mind a salary.

meanwhile, don draper from mad men is on conan. ahhhhh. so dreamy.

cupcake bloggers. weird.

2009-08-10T00:51:00.008-04:00

today was such a fun day.

i woke up and made sandwiches for the cupcake/sandwich social.
even parker helped.
then we headed out to williamsburg to pick up the girls.

caroline.
mollie.
lexi.

thats lexi on the left, then mollie, then caroline with blonde hair.

and for the style section of the blog, we have parker, age 9 months.
bow, b braithwaite.
bandana, vintage.
shirt, old navy.
skirt, crazy 8.
shoes, vans.com
after prospect park i headed over to ginny and eds new apartment. they babysat while i went to the crash mansion to see my friend wills band play.
after the show some people from my work and i went out for indian food and it was delicious.

now im home. its thunderstorming. and raining. and im going to bed.

long long time ago.

2009-08-03T00:25:00.003-04:00

im in atlanta.
i have had a really really great time.
i got in on thursday. hung out with dave catherine and paul.
friday jessica cut and colored my hair. i went to lunch with pat and my mom. stayed at my moms for the night. i made cupcakes and cake bites for jessica.
saturday i went to jessicas graduation party. parker crawled on her knees for the first time. we all clapped for her. she was a big hit at the party. such a well behaved lady. then i went to brittanys house. it was so fun to see her. we hadnt seen eachother in 9 years. i loved seeing her and meeting her husband jay. they are on a cruise as of tomorrow. i hope you guys have fun!
today dave and i went to lunch with his dad and stepmom ellen. ellen made parker these cute dresses out of vintage pillow cases. they are great. i went to dinner at fellinis with pat nina dave parker nick scottie his girlfriend and blaine. then we played apples to apples.

i really feel like i have gotten a lot out of this trip. i have been able to see everyone i had planned on seeing. tomorrow i am going to meet up with jtrav and he is going to shoot a photo of parker and i for his persona series. im so excited. i always wanted him to shoot a photo of me for his series. he is so creative.

i have been taking photos that i will post when i get back.

rip guinness. sorry buddy.

please alert this love of mine. let him know his margaret comes along.

2009-07-20T21:56:00.003-04:00

ive waiting eight months to get parker in a crib.

she has slept in it the past two nights and she is currently asleep in it now.

i never thought this day would come. i figured she would be sleeping with me through high school. sigh.

my lovely gia picked up my shift tonight for me. i made myself a caprese salad, watched silly teenager tv and worked on my puzzle. this one is a doozie. its 2000 pieces. i have been working on it for about 2 months. i forgot about it for a while, but when i got back from vacation i started working on it again.

i have tomorrow off but i am going into work to measure out and cut a giant screen for projecting movies.

my dad is out of town so i have been having a lot of time alone, with parker.
i took her to the pool today and she played in her boat. she loved it. the water wasnt as cold as it was in new hampshire so she was shrieking and kicking her feet. i had to hold onto the raft because she was projecting herself away from me.

i cant wait to visit atlanta in a week and a half.

lets get ready to rummmmmmbbblllleeeeeeeee

2009-07-15T00:38:00.006-04:00

tonight i went to my friend eldas house in parsippany. i had never been there so i turned on my gps and headed south. it took me through mahwah on ramapo valley road. it was so beautiful. the sun was setting and it was cool and breezy out. it made me happy to live somewhere with lots of trees and back roads. and not to mention huge beautiful houses.

im back from my family vacation, which is my favorite to date. being with jessica patrick and amy for a week was so refreshing. being home now made me realize what wonderful friends i have. i think people take for granted the time they have with friends. i miss being with people that know me. we laughed so much on the trip. it really was so much fun.

jessica and patrick sang any song that came into their head in aaron nevilles high/low voice. thinking about it now makes me laugh.

now im home and probably 100lbs heavier. here is a rundown of the food i devoured this weekend.
lobster
fried clams
fried fish
[2] lobster rolls
steak [twice]
escargot
pasta
crab cakes
scallops
steamers
french toast
brownie sundaes
bacon and eggs
cupcakes

its gross when i think about it now.

we played rummy, gin rummy, did two puzzles, went to the pool, some people went on the boat, went shopping, went out to dinner, cooked out, jumped in the pool at midnight, played with sparklers, went to a wedding, all around had so much fun.

thank you to all my family for being so much fun. + amy, marijana, and jessica.

here is my favorite picture from the trip.

okay, i couldnt resist posting this one as well.

patrick loves bacon. and i guess pk does too.

check out the rest of the photos on www.flickr.com/photos/all_things_striped

parker is crawling now. she has rug burn on her knees.

birthday birthday birthday!

2009-06-30T12:33:00.003-04:00

happy birthday to my oldest friend in the world.

brittany logan!

i miss you girl. i love you.

give me back that foot, give me that foot.

2009-06-29T20:39:00.005-04:00

my computer cord is busted. i now have to do all my surfing on my dads pc.

today i went to fort lee and visited my darling grandmother helen. she is so happy to be a great grandmother!

since parker always has to wear bibs, i decided on a new look for her. i think its much 'cooler'.
i like to call it the 'hispter bib'
i even captured her mid drool.

im going on vacation sunday and i cant wait. some of my besties are going to be there. i.e. pat, amy, jessica, my whole family. i cant wait! i am going to meet my new second cousin and eat losters and so much seafood!

then on the 30th i come to atlanta for 5 days. cant wait.

xoxo

im a celebrity, get me out of here.

2009-06-22T22:43:00.011-04:00

hello internet world.

i have some things to show you. i had to wait until after fathers day to post some of this stuff.
for fathers day i did a project to send to dave.

first: make signs
second: dress up parker and take the photos

third: print them out big and mail them to dave.

result: lots of tears and appreciate from daddy-o.

the next thing i have is a cute outfit i got for pk.
and lastly. i spent my entire evening working on some delicious treats. they are for someone special, but i cannot reveal who they are for just yet. i also cannot divulge the flavor of the cake inside, but it is delicious.

parker has just discovered her tongue. she sticks it out all of the time.
i like to call her parker gene simmons now.

tonight i watched abcfamily for two hours. i am now addicted to 'real life of an american teenager' and 'make it or break it' which is about gymnasts. ahh.

bonkers.

2009-06-20T14:06:00.004-04:00

early this morning parker fell off the bed onto the ground. face first. i heard a loud bonk and then crying. what a way to wake up, poor girl. shes fine now though, just a little red mark on her face.

in other news, i booked a ticket to come home for five days in july. july 30-august 4 i will be in atlanta. i know im going to be busy showing off parker to everyone but i want to see as many people as possible.

happy fathers day tomorrow to all the dads.

look at this fathers day cake. ahhhh!

we'll fill our mouths with cinnamon now.

2009-06-11T22:05:00.013-04:00

i saw the decemberists last night. it was so much fun. i went with chelsea and ginny. they sang the entire album, hazards of love. then took a break and came back and sang older songs for about an hour. to make chelsea happy, they ended with sons and daughters.

the album is about a woman named margaret who is played by becky stark of lavender diamond.

the cutest girl of all sings in some of the songs and also plays bass i think. her name is shara worden from the band my brightest diamond. she was adorable. she had on silver tights and shoes and danced so cuuute.

we had very classy snacks. hot dogs and cocktails with a radio city blue light up stir stick. here is ginny with her champagne and hotdog.

im hoping that i will attend this on saturday with janine when she is in town from atlanta.

just some cute stuff i found tonight.

cupcake mobile.

cute cute dollhouse.

tents.

girl put your records on.

2009-06-07T22:33:00.007-04:00

i decided this afternoon to take a visit to williamsburg to check out the craft fair. i had actually been reading about it on the cupcakes take the cake blog. i went in search of the cakespy booth, but ended up never finding it.

i did leave with some new things though.

1. y.not.me designs : i got some cards from their sale bin. [i got the elephant for you know who].
2. two small prints to frame for parker if she ever has her own room again. one says 'some days are better than others...' and has a drawing of a cloud with a sad face and outstretched arms. the other says '...but the sun always comes out tomorrow'. it has a drawing of a little girl holding hands with a prickly bear.
3. sesame letterpress : i got a bunch of coasters and some gift tags.
4. a sun burn. [from two hours, ugh]

5. some homemade treats such as a brown sugar cookie sandwich with a buttercream frosting filling.

i stopped by a booth called brookadelphia. the girl made jewelry with states and cities. she said she takes custom orders. im thinking about ordering a georgia necklace.

anyway. here is parker at the fair, looking cute as always. [big head as always, too]

we like to call that last one the 'heath ledger, the joker, smile'

rings.

2009-06-04T23:24:00.003-04:00

sunday i went to see cirque de soliel

it was really fun. then we went to little italy and had delicious food. we stopped at a dessert place and i gorged.

this is not actually quite as big as it looks. they were all mini desserts. that eclair was only two bites. im not that much of a pig. just a little piggy.

parker is almost 7 months now. she can sit up by herself, although i dont trust her anywhere except on the bed and couch. i bought her some of those stackable rings and she loves them. she loves to eat them i mean. im so happy to have her back. ive been working everyday all day since she has been back and i am excited to have tomorrow off to hang out with her.

birthday boy.

2009-05-30T23:28:00.004-04:00

on this day 39 years ago, dave was born.

.

happy birthday babys daddy.

i found this. its so adorable. i wish i could be a part of something so cute and creative.

alone time.

2009-05-28T09:02:00.002-04:00

just a quick post before i have to get ready for work.

i miss parker so much already. she is in san francisco, her 16th state!

but on a positive note:
i slept all the way through the night.
i didnt have to pay a babysitter last night.
i got to sleep later this morning because i only have to get myself ready.
im enjoying a quiet, poop free morning.
im going to the movies tonight, no babysitter or pappy needed!

i miss you my little peanut girl.

parker says, nice hermes hat, daddy-o!

stuff.

2009-05-24T14:07:00.009-04:00

while surfing around the internet and various blogs, i found some really cute stuff. first off, mini scooters! oh my god, i want to get one for pk so badly.

new iron and wine is out and i want it. i guess i could support the band by buying, but really im hoping someone already has it and that they will give it to me.

wall decals by mae. these are removable. its playing paper doll on your wall. brilliant.

elephant seat/light from modernchild.

realy cute cards from paper medium.

alphabet posters by sycamore street press

this place has a lot of great childrens stuff. sustainable. wooden. nice quality etc.

and one last thing. jewelry by yellowgoat. i want to buy this for leigh.

sitting.

2009-05-21T21:52:00.003-04:00

parker is sitting up by herself now.

and she doesnt mind being on her belly either.

im lonely tonight. hopefully tomorrow it will pass. sometimes it just gets old not having anyone to hang out with. my dad has a lady friend now and i miss him when he is at her house but i am so happy for him.

i want patrick to come visit so badly. im scheming to try and get him here.

i cant find a babysitter for saturday night. i have to work and my dad is going to be out of town. no one can do it because it is memorial day weekend. i dont know what to do.

2009-05-19T21:31:00.007-04:00

new baby clothes from h&m!

i got all of it for $30. so cute.

i had this chocolate and mini m&ms in my house i needed to get rid of so i decided to make some treats to bring into work tomorrow.

yesterday i walked 1.4 miles while pushing a stroller. i was quite sore today. im on a good diet now, at least trying. i ate fruit for breakfast.

birthday birthday

2009-05-17T16:04:00.003-04:00

my dads birthday was on friday. we went over to marijanas and had steamers and lobsters.

my first attempt at fondant. its a little messy but it was fun. the cake wasnt even very delicious, but its the thought that counts.

here is a photo of my peanut looking so cute.

another nice note.

2009-05-13T09:24:00.000-04:00

ok, so we havent seen each other in years....havent talked on the phone.....havent met the important people in each others lives (jay, parker, etc)....

but know that when I think of growing up...becoming...getting through those hard middle school years....you are every much as part of those thoughts as I myself am.

you're my oldest friend.....and ive been so happy to reconnect.
I know it must be so hard up there...well, i know it..probably dont understand. definitely dont understand motherhood, and cant imagine how all-consuming it must be.

you're doing a great job, though. I can tell. Happy mother's day a bit late.

life is messy....but i think we'll all be okay.
love you today, girl.
b.

quiet night.

2009-05-12T22:08:00.002-04:00

i got the sweetest note today from my good friend kyong. i decided to share it with you.

Hey, I just wanted to thank you for being such a good friend. I know that I have been all giddy about this kid and I thank you for putting up with my long winded babble about this and that during a time when things are really changing for you. Settling down and looking at my daughter, I know that you find it difficult to move on and let things go or even to see it a different way, but you have really endured gracefully because you can still scream and laugh with me at the good things that are going on. Moving on is really hard and I am really proud of you and think about how amazing and strong you have to be to relocate and to push yourself into the next chapter of your life, even if you don't want to start another chapter. You are being so brave and headstrong about doing well for yourself and I am so excited for your future and proud of you as a friend.

Thanks for being you.

much love,

kay

that really made me feel good. [kay likes to pretend parker is hers, so that is why she refers to parker as 'my daughter']

stupid.

2009-05-07T22:13:00.002-04:00

i was watching make me a supermodel earlier today and that dumb host tyson called viktor & rolf, viktor & ralph. what an idiot.

sweeeeets.

2009-05-07T15:59:00.003-04:00

more cake pops!

this time, i made them look like cupcakes instead of just the pops.
first, dip half in chocolate.

then. dip in purple chocolate, add sprinkles and an m&m.

jessica, my babysitter, gave me my first mothers day gift ever.
so sweet!

six months.

2009-05-06T09:29:00.003-04:00

happy six months parker!

happy birthday to my screeching, reaching for everything, pear loving, drooling, tv watching, smiley, red headed daughter!

cake pops.

2009-05-03T23:18:00.012-04:00

courtesy of bakerella.

before i went to work today, i decided to make some treats to bring in on a dreary sunday.

first, you make a cake.

as a side note, i always always use. bakers joy. it is so much better than pam.

after you bake the cake and let it cool, you crumble it up in a bowl.
add one container of cream cheese icing and mix together.
roll into balls.

put them in the freezer for 15 minutes.
then dip them in melted candy chocolate.

i made some into lollipops and some just into little heart shaped bites.

yum.

memory lane.

2009-05-02T13:33:00.006-04:00

ive never had a very good memory, although people often tell me i remember the most remarkable things. as for my past, my memory is quite spotty. i do, however, have many sensory memories. smells, tastes, sounds etc that remind me of very specific memories in my life. for instance:

•pantene pro v when it was in the tall maroon bottle. the smell of it reminds me of a summer when i lived in suwanee. i had a neighbor who liked me for a long time. patrick and i hung out with this other guy tj for the summer. i can remember going on a walk with tj with molly the dog between us. said neighbor saw us and thought we were holding hands. he then proceeded to hide under the caboose and not come out.
•the smell of a certain kind of bush reminds me of the big house in north carolina. i can remember what it looked like when you walked around the house from the trampoline to the front porch.
•that beyonce song that came out two years ago reminds me of kyong. the last week she was in town jesse bought her the cd and we played it in her saab with the windows down and smoked cigarettes.
•when the moon is particularly big and bright, or small and dim, i think of chris hood. he called me one time many years ago and told me to look at the moon because it was so beautiful.
•when i make miniature chocolate chip cookies from the tube, i think of my first best friend, april jackson. she always made miniature cookies and to this day, i think of her when i make them too.
•eating cookie dough reminds me of growing up with great friends like jessica jeffrey, christi jervis, and melanie osgood. we used to make a half batch of toll house cookies. keep it in the metal kitchen aid mixer bowl. put it in the freezer for 15 minutes. grab 3 spoons and a glass of milk and just eat the cookie dough.
•the song always by my baby by mariah carey reminds me of laying in hopes bed and singing it on the top of our lungs.
•peanut buster parfaits from dairy queen remind me of brittany logan. we used to spend almost every day together when we were younger. her gunny would pick us up on her cadillac i think it was. we would listen to music in the back and then stop at dairy queen. peanut buster parfait, no peanuts for me.
•the song run away train by soul asylum reminds me of my brother patrick. i can remember a specific day riding in the car with him and my dad and kimberly on lindberg ave and that song coming on and talking about the video which shows a race car driver with a missing persons photo on the top of his car.
•the smell of bath and body works vanilla raspberry reminds me of the hospital in houston. i used that spray, soap, and lotion when i was there.
•the green day dookie album and the blue weezer album remind me of when my mom was at emory for her brain tumor. patrick, sarah, and i drove in sarahs black truck to the hospital and we were listening to these albums at the time.
•apple cider vinegar reminds me of nina. when we were in senior collection 3, nina was convinced that drinking apple cider vinegar was going to keep her healthy.

im sure i have many other memories but those are just a few that come to mind. anyone else want to share any memories like this that they have. please do.

***added

•when i hear le tigre or avril lavigne, i remember driving in bryana sortinos vw gti with leigh, leslie, and bryana in savannah in 2002 and 2003.
•jolie holland reminds me of late night puzzling with jessica dorman, cigarettes, red wine, and music on the ipod.

no slippy!

2009-04-30T17:53:00.004-04:00

i received some goodies in the mail today. i ordered these online last week.

i love them.

comments

2009-04-28T21:33:00.001-04:00

comments work now! so validate me!

$25 on wine for myself!

2009-04-28T21:24:00.006-04:00

this is what my night looks like.

i love this wine. i had a really stressed out day so on my way home i stopped at the wine store and splurged a little on a nice bottle of wine for myself. i worked and made $18.00. that job is so stupid. then i drove into the city to meet with a woman who works at a staffing agency. the job is an assistant cad designer for a womens and childrenswear line. so i guess ill find out if anything comes of it. i am so ready to not work in a restaurant.

as some of you may know, i paid off some credit cards this week!

im so happy to have my new camera. so expect tons and tons of photos of parker. speaking of...

and for kicks, a gross one of me.

im off to make some bread pudding with white chocolate sauce. goodnight!

its summertime

2009-04-27T10:02:00.008-04:00

here is parker almost six months old. its summertime here, almost 95 degrees outside. she got some new sunglasses and now can fit in her hat from dave.

here is the puzzle that i have been working on for the past few weeks. its 2000 pieces.

bee beeeeee belittled.

2009-04-24T21:31:00.004-04:00

my dad is back from dubai.

day one of parkers new routine. a sort of success.

this is what it is supposed to be and [what really happened].

7:00 - wake up and eat [7:15]
7:30 - play
9:00 - nap [only slept until 10:00]
11:00 - eat [10:30]
11:30 - play
1:00 - nap [napped on an off between 11:00-1:00]
3:00 - eat [2:00]
3:30 - play
5:00 - cat nap [no nap!]
7:00 - eat
7:30 - bath
8:00 - bedtime. [cried and cried. finally asleep at 9:00]

so my routine was certainly not without flaw. but it was my first day. its actually quite difficult to make a 6 month old eat when you want her to and sleep when you want her to. she doesnt eat enough at each feeding so i have to feed her more often. i really am tired of doing that.

my main goals for this whole process are to:
1. put her to bed without a bottle
2. have four feedings a day instead of all day
3. make nap times more consistent
4. sleep through the night

when i finally get her on a good routine, then i will tackle the crib. its not going to be easy. she has been taught that the place she sleeps is right next to me. i started this habit in the hospital. she cried and cried when she was in the baby thing in the hospital so i put her in bed with me and its been the same ever since.

im not a big fan of 'letting them cry it out'. i know for some people this is a fine tactic but i feel as though a cry is for a reason and it shouldnt be ignored. i dont want her to cry and cry and then throw up on herself after getting so upset.

i am proud to say that parker is a very happy baby and she is happy to be held by anyone, unless she is really tired.

my refund check came in today and i got parker a play thing.

i also bought myself a digital camera finally.

soon ill be documenting everything.

aint no sunshine

2009-04-22T09:33:00.002-04:00

im posting from brooklyn. i stayed with kyong last night. she had some friends over and we all hung out and drank green tea. we sat on the stoop for a while and a man came by and sang a medley of songs to us. asking for money of course. but i havent laughed that much in a long time and it felt really good.

more sunglasses.

2009-04-20T17:00:00.007-04:00

we took a trip to bergen mall today to visit target and while there i decided to go into the childrens store. usually i think this store is stupid, and i still do kind of, but i found two great buys. see above and below.
its solid food time here in new jersey. today i purchased a whole slew of choices for miss p. when she decides which ones she likes, i am going to buy the fruits and veggies fresh. grind them up, freeze them, and then defrost as needed.

parkers new favorite toy is the blah blah rattle. its a bird with a winter hat and scarf on. she really likes it.

im reading a new book the baby whisperer solves all your problems. it seems really stupid but its actually a really great help. its all about getting your baby in a routine. practicing good eating and sleeping habits, and not letting your child dictate the schedule. i spoil parker and she runs everything so i am determined to fix it while i still can.

its raining here and cold. i have the fire on and im drinking a cup of hot tea. good evening!

fruit

2009-04-19T10:18:00.002-04:00

someone likes her first food. organic pears!

grey gardens.

2009-04-18T16:50:00.004-04:00

tonight im having a quiet night with parker. as always. i picked up some food from trader joes. tempura shrimp, edamame, and mochi. we then headed over to stew leonards and picked up some wine. i got a nice pinot noir that my dad picked up for me.

on hbo tonight there is a special on the bouvier-beale family called grey gardens. its a movie of the original documentary from 1975. i want to see that movie too.

i took my last test at sushi lounge yesterday. after it gets graded i will find out if i get to work there. i know i passed, but i have a negative feeling about the whole thing. i just feel like they are going to blow me off and i dont know why. i have this black cloud over me. i feel really paranoid about all apsects in my life. ie. friends [or lack there of], job, babys daddy, etc.

i miss everyone. i miss jessica. i hope she come to new hampshire. i miss patrick. i miss nina. i miss kirk. i miss leigh. i miss dave. i miss my mom. i miss elliott. i miss christy chaffin. i miss having friends.

i talked to jesse perez today. he said he won a national award. best latino chef in america. congrats!

nap time for babies.

similarities.

2009-04-16T13:47:00.001-04:00

thats me as a baby with my dad. sure looks like parker.

also, some old pictures of rebekah and i.

2009-04-16T10:08:00.000-04:00

two followers. ugh. come on guys.

unpacking.

2009-04-10T23:53:00.005-04:00

today i received all of my stuff from atlanta. it was really fun going through all of parkers clothing and toys. i hadnt seen it in about three months. she really has a lot of clothing. when i finally get a digital camera i will let everyone see that her closet is bigger than mine.

here are some of her hats that i found.

parker received two wonderful easter baskets yesterday. one from her dad and one from her grandmother. she got candy!, a stuffed animal, three homemade magnets, a 14k gold bracelet, a rabbit statue, and a silver rabbit and turquoise speckled egg. shes spoiled!

i spent wednesday night with my moms side of the family. they were celebrating passover and invited me to their seder. it was long. but fun still. my cousin ben who is a magician is really so very funny.

here are my grandparents and my aunt and uncle.

i started my new job which seems like it is going to be good but maybe not as much money as i am used to making. but there are a lot of girls my age that work there so maybe one day i will have friends again. i need to buy new shoes because i can tell you that little flat mary janes are not the shoes to be wearing for eight hours on your feet.

parker is teething. still, you ask. yes. going on two months now. i wonder if this little tooth will ever pop out. for now i have to endure long nights of her waking up crying. constant fevers. soaking wet shirts from her drool, and her chewing everything that comes near her mouth.

until next time.

suunnnnnndaaaaayyyy

2009-04-05T22:19:00.002-04:00

today we took a drive to northern new jersey to a cute little town called ringwood. we drove around ramapo state park and saw the ramapo state dam. its a reservoir for new jersey. it was really pretty. but surrounded by really ugly fences.

im in a huge slump. i cant seem to find a job. and my only two friends are moving away. nina goes back to georgia tomorrow and kay is moving to a farm in upstate new york. i joinded a book club that meets once a month. i am reading 'the meadowlands' and its .really interesting. we were supposed to choose a book that had to do with the earth in some way, in honor of earth day. i need to finish the book by the 14th.

i have an interview tomorrow at a sushi restaurant. and an interview at another place on tuesday.

on a positive note, i am. getting a monster tax return. i can now pay off some debt, actually have a savings account for parker, and pay for parkers everyday life.

sigh.

these hazards of love.

2009-04-03T15:29:00.000-04:00

its foggy and rainy here on friday and i got home a few hours ago from nyc. i drove in yesterday and met nina on avenue c. i frantically got my portfolio together and we drove over to broadway where i had an interview for an internship. nina babysat parker for thirty minutes while i interviewed. we had lunch at this cute place called room service.

we walked to madison square park and had frozen custard from shake shack. delicious. miss parker had had enough of strolling so we headed back to the car to pick up kyong from work.

after dropping off nina we headed to brooklyn. kyong and i picked up some food and wine and went home and cooked and hung out with her roommate.
this morning we were hoping to head over to the museum of natural history but it was way too rainy. instead we went to williamsburg and had breakfast and lattes.

i was sad to leave. i had a nice spend the night in nyc. both of my friends are now leaving and i dont know what im going to do then. kyong is going to live and work on a farm in three weeks and nina is going back to atlanta on monday.

sigh.